Wedding

I went for friends' wedding on Saturday. The wedding was rather special for 2 reasons. First, I know both bride and groom as they are my seniors back since university days. Second, it was the first wedding in which the bride and groom are friends to me. The previous weddings I attended were always family event or my parents' colleagues. 

It was quite a learning experience to me because now I have to prepare everything on my own. For examples, ang pau. I know it is a culture to give but it never occurs to me that what type of ang pau matters. Apparently based on the writings (which I can't read), some ang paus are meant for Chinese New Year occasions ONLY. After all it is not appropriate to wish someone "Happy New Year" on their weddings right? Then it was a huge headache as all the red packets I have are free gifts (from FairPrice lah, from BreadTalk lah, from my old school la) during CNY seasons XD In the end I used my old school one HAHA at least that one had no writings. In Singapore, there is this "unwritten" rules with regards how much to give which depends on 1) no of people going 2) where the wedding is held. Okay I think these rules are ridiculous because when you give something, you should give voluntarily and not dictated by the so called "market rates" etc. Anyway amount was never a problem for me as I already decided what to give from the start. However, I am just worried that what I consider "reasonable" may not be so according to the prevailing "market rates". I hope my friends don't operate based on these rates haha.. They are Indonesians after all.

As I came in almost late for the church service, I was sitting with mostly non-Catholics. As a Catholic, I should feel at "home" in the church. But I felt awkward in doing the normal mass gestures because I was surrounded by non-Catholics. I don't know what to describe that. That was cowardly. That was a shame. I think I do not even deserve considering myself as a Catholic.

That also makes me think about my own life and future. Firstly, should I settle for a Catholic girlfriend-cum-wife? Sigh.. the person I fancy currently does not even fulfil that criteria :( Secondly, would I even have a wedding party? I don't think I would have anyone to invite other than family members. After all, I hardly have friends.. mostly fake friends.. Aaarrgh.. emo sad life.. perhaps I am destined to be forever alone.