C3 AFA Singapore 2019

Due to work commitment, I had been going for AFA on Sundays for the past few years. It was my first time going on a Saturday and next time I should consider Sunday mornings instead. Previous years I thought AFA was slowly losing popularity since I felt it was getting less and less crowded. After today, I think it is not the case. I queued for the ticket at around 1215pm and it took around 10 minutes. About an hour later, the queue was just getting longer.

With that size of crowd, inside the exhibition hall was super crowded. Except for the entrance area where Gundam RX-78-2 is, all the other sections were jam packed. I feel that this is the most disappointing AFA in the past few years since I only took two photos. In previous years, at least there were more interesting displays or toys that I took pictures of. Perhaps it is because I do not really follow any anime or manga lately that none of the featured stuff is familiar to me.

Indirectly, shopping is not interesting too as there are not many things from the series I am familiar with. I was tempted with 'up to 35% off' at Bandai / Tamashi Nations but after comparing with the prices online, it is still cheaper or comparable to buy online. With that, now I am reminded with the existence of Gundam Universe line (so far there are Wing Gundam and Deathscythe from Gundam Wing) and I know that there are Detective Conan figures from S.H. Figuarts. I was tempted to get a haori if I could find one for $20 and luckily I did not find any. I just dug my stuff and realised that I actually bought 2 from last year AFA hahaha... I forgot about them altogether -_-" I bought them for $15 each haha.. Yep, going on Sunday is definitely better.

The experience zones this year are quite disappointing too. Bandai Namco gaming space looks spacious and amazing but even if I own PS4 or Nintendo Switch, I usually will not queue just to try playing some games in public. There are at least 3 areas to just look at manga sketches and illustrations: one requires downloading of an app that they are promoting to enter so I did not enter, one does not allow phototaking, and one is Yoshitaka Amano's Gibiate Project which features original characters. There is no VR experience zone as well as Canon booth for free photos with mascots this year.

The only experience zone I went to was Manga de Japan booth and my luck is as bad as ever today since I did not win any lucky draw. Well, actually I got a paper fan which is as good as nothing. Last year, the possible prizes were live sketch, MangaMe! sketch, or nothing. This year, there are additional Naruto/Boruto t-shirt and the paper fan. I want t-shirt or sketch but not the fan. Boo hooo...

This is the fan I got from my unlucky draw

The only two pictures I took today are:

Gundam RX-78-2

So paiseh to take photo with Doraemon.. but perhaps if it is figures, isntead of cardboards, I would still be thick skin

The day ended with me succumbing to bubble tea temptation again. My friend wanted to get Milksha and since it is a brand I never tried before, my pathetic self would definitely succumb with the excuse of trying out something new.

Messy week of failures

With a month more until my Japan trip, I promised myself to re-start my discipline for diet so that I can lose weight and pimples. It only took one moment of temptation to try KFC's new bolognese cheese fries and it has been going down the hill with the fast food, junk food, and bubble teas in the past week. Today was the pinnacle with Christmas lunch with colleagues at work which meant it was buffet.

We had lunch at W Hotel at Sentosa Cove. My stomach is not suited for buffet anymore as I only had 2 plates from main buffet spread, 1 plate of appetisers, a bit of dessert, and 3 cups of ice creams. The spread of the buffet was not as many as typical buffets which may boast hundreds of options but the quality of the food here was top notch. Just imagine that my favourite food were two seemingly common food in any hawker centre: roast pork and char siew. The beef something (I did not really pay attention to the name of the dish) was fantastic too. It was just amazing to have these meats at pretty chunky and thick slices but yet they remained soft and pleasant to eat, instead of tough and chewy. I usually skipped rice dishes in buffet to avoid feeling full too quickly but I ended up with two servings of char siew fried rice and mushroom risotto.

I was not really a fan of the desserts as they were not cold. The opera cake was chocolate-y enough for my liking. However, the pinnacle was the chocolate ice cream. I was extremely skeptical about it since it was from a machine. Before started tasting, I was like 'This must be some cheapskate non-branded ice cream'. After the first spoon, according to my colleagues my eyes and face literally lighted up. Ooops hahaha.. Yeah the chocolate ice cream was THAT good: chocolate-y enough and creamy enough without being too runny. I love it. The strawberry was quite a disaster by comparison since I tasted more milk than strawberry.

I felt rather 'betrayed' as my colleagues did not really dress up to the chosen Disney theme. Aiyo, I specially bought an Aladdin cosplay set for this leh :( It would be fun if people were also dressing up as I was paiseh to be 'crazy' alone. Since I already bought and brought it, I might as well be thick skin about it. Sadly, no photo was good enough to change my profile picture. I am wishing for a day when I can be slim enough to look good in this T_T

Talking about Aladdin, I found out that the winter illumination at Caretta Shiodome is based on Aladdin. I went to see the winter illumination here in 2017 and I was not impressed because my camera was not good enough to take a photo under such low light. I was checking on this while killing time as my sister was super slow in settling the JR pass with Traveloka. I am actually more interested with the Aladdin movie exhibits more than lights. Haha.. It does not look big but just taking photos with the magic carpet and the wall should be enough for me. I only have 1 free day in Tokyo for this trip so goodbye to shopping as that free day will only be for this. Haha...

Because of this, I did not know why I went itchy fingers and checked Disney Store Japan website. It was a shocker to see the statue I bought this May is not 50% off. That is 13750 yen difference. I did not think much when I saw this the very first time because this was almost the same as 20th anniversary statue that I did not get to buy in 2013. Until this day, I never saw this statue online either. So yeah.. I could take the risk of waiting for a sale again and ended up missing out on this again OR I just bought it first and then being heartbroken when it goes on sale.

It is Black Friday today and I received another shocker. My gym is having 20% sale and I just renewed my membership literally LAST WEEK. Just one week apart and I lost another $396 sigh... I e-mailed them this morning to ask if I can cancel and re-purchase my package. $396 is almost 1.5-month membership leh.. No joke.. I still have no reply until now huhuhu...

To end all the failures this week is the failure with my life. I was too focused with my presentation this week that I did not even get to pray rosary for the past 2 days :( I make it a promise to complete once a day. On Wednesday, I almost lost my new rosary ring. Luckily I realised it as I was about to sit inside the restaurant for lunch. I quickly tried to recall when I pulled out my wallet since that would be the possibility when I dropped the rosary ring. Thank God I was able to find it outside the restaurant. In addition, I had been overnap-ing in the past 3 nights. I would wake up at 3-4am before sleeping again and that just screws up the following day. With that, the tooth brushing, tooth flossing, retainer wearing, and skincare regime were all skipped.

I also skipped Landings session on Monday out of laziness. Gosh.. I am starting to finally lose steam for my spiritual life too. I reasoned that I wanted to watch Frozen 2 (surprise!! I have not watched it yet) but it was still too crowded. I felt too self-conscious to watch alone since I foresee it would be mostly kids. I watched the first movie alone without such feeling. Perhaps I really have grown old now -_-" I will definitely catch Frozen 2 next week. Aaah.. I still remembered that magical moment in the cinema when I just knew that 'Let It Go' would just be a phenomenal song. That time people had not gone crazy about Frozen and Let It Go yet. That was why my post had the song embedded -something I do not normally do when I post about movies.

With Advent is coming, I hope I can get my life back on track and start anew.

Hot weekend

Since about a month plus ago, I told my landlord that the aircon was breaking down and was not cold. He brushed it off and said that it was because the weather was hot and asked me to lower the temperature instead. Wahlao! Don't believe me and just on Friday, the aircon was finally completely dead. No one would be available to replace the compressor over the weekend so now we have to wait until don't know when. Even with the maximum speed of my ceiling fan, it is bloody hot and my room has a smell. I tried to open my room door to improve air circulation but it invites random insects and mosquitos.

My landlady had her leg surgery on Tuesday and thank God everything went smoothly and she was back at home on Wednesday. She fell down in her room again yesterday and I was alone to help her get up. I thought there was a maid around. Sigh.. I really cannot understand people. She just had a surgery and yet my landlord allowed her to be home alone. If I were away then she would just be waiting on the floor until someone came home. Can't imagine how miserable she feels with difficulty moving and no aircon in her room as well. Everything is about money money money. I know I should not be complaining. Instead, I should take all these sufferings as penance and pray and surrender it to God.

The new batch of preceptees began this week and it is another new challenge for me. Previously my students tend to be the more reserved, shy, or not so confident type but this time I get someone who is quite 'arrogant'. I know it is my own perception and I should not be judging but honestly my first impression was not very good. No doubt that he seems smart and capable but he needs to do something with the way he speaks and expresses himself or he will find some difficulties in working world. Thank goodness during the discussion on Friday, somehow he was more toned down compared to Monday when I met him for the first time.

I have been discharged from my physiotherapy and for the first time in the past 3 months (or longer), I managed to go to gym for 3 consecutive days. I would say I am 90-95% recovered since occasionally the lower back discomfort still randomly appears and I hope I won't injure myself again. At the same time, I am losing control over my diet. With my Japan trip coming in 5 weeks time, it is really urgent for me to return to my diet. Though I must admit that the Baileys ice cream was worth trying although it is overhyped. From the several days that I visited Fairprice, I only saw it in stock on the day when I bought (and there were only 2 boxes left). However taste-wise, I can hardly taste the Baileys and it tastes just like any other cookie and cream ice cream.

A bit of throw back to last week's vocation retreat, I think I made the correct decision to say that I want to know more. If I said that I would like to think about it in another week, I will end up getting back to my lazy and comfortable life and I will not decide wanting to know more. Then perhaps after a few years I will be back to square one wondering what I am doing with my life.

Vocation search

The week of dilemma, confusion, uncertainty, and making tough choices has finally come to an end. After fretting over the vocation retreat in the past 2 weeks, I finally decided to just send an email on Monday and I just came back from the retreat.

Landings prepared me for sharing faith stories but sharing about vocation journey is another ball game altogether. Currently I have no complaint with my job as I have my work-life balance and I have time to dedicate for Church activities. I always think that these are all I need and I will be happy. Now that I am experiencing it, I don't find it as happy as I imagined it. While everything is good, I do not feel any sense of fulfillment if I am just going to repeat this way of life everyday until the day I die. Might as well I die sooner and I no need to work altogether. This is the start of seed of doubt if single life is for me. Married life seems to be more distant for me now. Previously I still could imagine my wedding, my family, wanting to have 4 kids and all that. Nowadays I do not have the same 'dreams' and I feel like avoiding marriage if possible. With that, the last option is consecrated life. I am reminded by the retreat I attended this year: if you have never try, you will not know if you will like it or not. So I sign up for the retreat really with an open mind to experience and know more, rather than to make a decision.

I achieve my objectives: I learn the history, the purpose, and the difference between religious congregations vs diocesan priesthood, and more importantly about what this particular congregation does. One good thing is that nothing about this congregation seems to be repelling for me and I am open to learn more. The next part is the scary party. If I really want to learn more, then I need to be an 'aspirant'. In my head, it is scary because it is like I have to commit to something before I am able to find out if this is going to be for me or not. The other attendees noticed how I turned pale and looked so worried about this.

A part of me would like to have a time out to think about it first. Surprisingly I just took the plunge to say: okay I want to know more which is indirectly saying yes I will be an 'aspirant'. Since it is the only way to find out more, there is no other way. I also thought if I were to think about it, it would be the same as doing nothing and I would remain where I am with the question and curiosity if religious life is for me. Perhaps it is a blessing in disguise that I deliberately wanted to 'save' my notebook and use the same one that I used for the retreat I attended early this year. As I was flipping the notes from that retreat, one (forgotten) aspiration that I promised to do from that retreat is: to take active action instead of passively waiting for a loud voice from the Heaven of what God's plan for me is. I do not know what lies ahead but I will just surrender everything to God as I have done what I can.

Moving on the more light-hearted part about the retreat experience, the retreat house is so comfortable and beyond my expectations. I brought slippers for shower expecting a shared bathroom for all but it turned out to be 2 rooms sharing 1 bathroom. I brought pillow as instructed but actually there were more than sufficient pillow. So I was like overpacking.

The only disaster was I did not really sleep last night. The aircon remote in my room did not work so I borrowed from neighbour. The aircon was freaking cold at night and I had no way to turn it off or turn up the temperature. I did not have jacket with me so I woke up after the first hour and tried to sleep in the living room. After an hour there, I started to feel warm and I moved to the cold room again. Just repeat that pattern until the morning. Haiz..

Luckily the retreat programme was very good. It really served its purpose as an introduction without packing the days to the brim. The programme officially ended at 7pm with dinner on Saturday and we had an evening walk to ECP. It was nostalgic to pass by V Hall although currently the outside is a big mess with a construction going on.

It is interesting to hear the experience and journey from the other attendees as well. I actually feel lousy when I heard their stories. I am considered quite old as most of the rest are still 22-24 years old. I know I should not be comparing because I was only 1-3 year old as a Catholic when I was at that age. A few had more experience in discernment which means they had been taking actions to do something about me as compared to myself only thinking about this perhaps only in the latest 1 year. Ultimately there is nothing to compare because everyone's journey is different. One advantage of being 'old' is that it gives me more time of self exploration. Unlike many others, I am not too concerned about family or about going overseas since I am already without family and overseas more than half of my life. My stumbling block, on the other hand, is my pride and self-insufficiency. From my work and volunteering experience so far, I feel that despite doing good, many times I run out of steam just because one FON. Will I be repeating this same pattern with religious life? Seeing others, it is clear that I am just being anti social. There is another boy who seemingly very quiet and shy but yet he actually initiated more conversation than me. I was really lazy to initiate small talk and only responded when someone approached. I don't think this is a good quality for a religious life. Sigh.. I did not really even have a good conversation with my roommate sia.. Teribble me..

I cannot hear God's voice at all so I don't know if I have a calling or I am only hallucinating and exploring this only for my own glory. Sigh.. it is all in my mind. I can do nothing about it other than continue praying because what I really need is God's direction.

An embarrassing wtf moment was someone almost saw me naked in the bathroom!! Luckily I was just taking off my shirt and the whole shirt was still covering my body. The day before we promised not to lock the bathroom door but to just slide them close as a sign that it was in use. That was what I did this morning and the person from next door just slid open even though the light was on and obviously someone was inside -_-" Imagine if it happened when I was shitting or something sia.

Meet up with cousin

I just met up with a cousin who I have not met perhaps in almost 2 decades. She has been in Australia since even before I left for Singapore. In between, our paths never crossed when we went back to Jakarta. She is in Singapore this week to accompany her son who is competing in Singa Cup. It was unfortunate that I did not get to see him whom I never met at all since he was born. Nevertheless, it was really nice to catch up with her. Although we have not been in touch for that long, we were able to have a 2 hour plus conversation without any awkwardness. I suppose there is something special with family bond that time and distance cannot dissolve.

She gave me Miraculous Medal as a souvenir and this is going to another Marian devotion for me. The medal feels very light and I don't feel like anything is on my chest when I am putting it on. The string is also not irritating. The only downside from these barely noticeable materials is I am worried if I 'forget' and drop it somewhere without realising.

So yeah that's all for today. I hope I would be able to go to Australia to visit you in the near (or even far) future.

Shopping again

Seeing how enthu my colleagues were for Halloween, I decided to be more 'game' for the upcoming Christmas lunch. They have chosen Disney as as a theme and initially I wanted to just be lazy and wear my Spiderman t-shirt and Spiderman mask that I bought in USJ few years ago. That seems to sloppy now. I was thinking to rent but after seeing the prices, I might as well buy a costume. I was considering between Aladdin who is my favourite Disney character and Peter Pan since green is my favourite colour. I went with Aladdin in the end since Peter Pan's pants seem to be a leotard. No thanks.

I bought Aladdin costume from Amazon Japan and it arrived yesterday. I really cannot get the hang of buying clothes online. The top is too tight while the bottom is too long. Perhaps I am just fat and short :( The materials are acceptable and comfortable to wear but the pants is a bit worrying for me. I think it is not thick enough and my underwear can potentially be visible. I shall think further if I would be wearing that pants, or if I should just wear normal pants, or if I should wear a normal pants inside.

The Prince of Tennis x Zoff collaboration spectacles that I succumbed to order in April this year finally arrived. I am not that impressed with the quality as it feels more flimsy that my Digimon spectacles from Megane Ichiba. I will take pictures of them when I have time and will have a dedicated post like what I did with the Digimon spectacles previously. I will not be wearing these Prince of Tennis spectacles yet until next year when I do another round of eye check up. I know my degrees have gone up from this year's check up but I am still praying for a miracle everyday that somehow it can revert back to my current spectacles degree :( Otherwise my current Digimon spectacles are less than a year old and I need to change the lens already. That is a lot of money T_T

I am still feeling rather lousy after getting angry during volunteering yesterday. Although I always go with a charitable mindset, I still cannot overcome my weakness: impatience towards rude people. What made me even more upset is the proud mindset. When these people are being rude, the first thing that comes to my mind is always: you already pay so little and we are all here as volunteers so at the very least you should be respectful and not being rude to us instead of being entitled. Hmmpfh!! See the word 'respectful'.. Sigh.. wanting respect = pride = pathetic me.

At the end of mass this morning, the auntie whom I always sit next to said goodbye. Catholics are not well-known for the sense of community so this was a good surprise to me. It is actually quite sad since we have been sitting next to each other for months. Previously we have started acknowledging each other when she has to excuse me to go inside the pew but that is as much as the interaction goes. Actually the people who go for 7am mass are usually sitting at the same position and yet all of us are so cold to one another despite seeing one another every Sunday. Sad isn't it?

Interestingly, I somehow got intersted in the statue of sleeping St Joseph that I saw at the church gift store last week. After reading a bit more about it, I decided to buy it as I am still thinking to discern if the dreams I had about sending enquiry about the vocation retreat is a sign of God or just my own thinking. I decided to buy and returned to the Church but the statue had the toe chipped :( Oh well.. looks like I have to continue with my indecisiveness and my stress about this vocation retreat.