Saturday, September 17, 2016


This is not the first time I am feeling so down and lousy. For some reasons, God sent me a message through facebook and it is about humility written by St Josemaria Escriva.

Allow me to remind you that among other evident signs of a lack of humility are:
1. Thinking that what you do or say is better than what others do or say
2. Always wanting to get your own way
3. Arguing when you are not right or — when you are — insisting stubbornly or with bad manners
4. Giving your opinion without being asked for it, when charity does not demand you to do so
5. Despising the point of view of others
6. Not being aware that all the gifts and qualities you have are on loan
7. Not acknowledging that you are unworthy of all honour or esteem, even the ground you are treading on or the things you own
8. Mentioning yourself as an example in conversation
9. Speaking badly about yourself, so that they may form a good opinion of you, or contradict you
10. Making excuses when rebuked
11. Hiding some humiliating faults from your director, so that he may not lose the good opinion he has of you
12. Hearing praise with satisfaction, or being glad that others have spoken well of you
13. Being hurt that others are held in greater esteem than you
14. Refusing to carry out menial tasks
15. Seeking or wanting to be singled out
16. Letting drop words of self-praise in conversation, or words that might show your honesty, your wit or skill, your professional prestige…
17. Being ashamed of not having certain possessions…
Erm.. I think I hit 11 out of the 17 things listed up there. It serves as a timely reminder on how arrogant and proud I am. It is not something new for me as I was told about the same thing during my confession a few years ago. So perhaps all my ungratefulness and unhappiness currently are simply because I am not humble.

Yesterday I randomly met with a JC friend. He happened to be at Toa Payoh area and I happened to end earlier than expected. So I agreed to meet him for dinner. Because of NS, I left uni 2 years before him and he told me that he left his 7k++ job because he was tired of travelling (3x a week) and saw no progression. Oh my God :( That was about 1-2 years ago and that means he was earning double of what I have. Sigh what have I done with my life? Seriously I don't care about job or career. I just want money and happiness :(

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