Saturday, January 18, 2014

A late happy new year 2014!!

2013 was such a looooong year that it took me so looooong just to look back and reflect upon it. Nah! I have just been very busy with work that I have to bring some work and continue them at home. I am more or less done clearing my holiday backlog and thus have the time to blog again. Yay!

Personally, life in general gets boring after you start working. So it is quite difficult to rate whether the past year was good, so-so, or bad. Work-wise, I completed my first year of working experience rather uneventfully. I presented and won the best project for 2013 among the 9 branches and it was great that my branch was also the best for 2013. Nothing too much about it as being the best simply means hitting the most KPIs. Unfortunately, these were not reflected to higher bonus during the mid-year. I was disappointed that I just got the same one as everybody else. Sigh.. Considering I am a junior staff, I thought my performance was slightly better than the rest of the new people so I thought I should get higher grade. Jeez.. Anyway, should not work so hard if there is no reward.

The project that I thought was good was actually not good enough when being compared with those from other institutions and judged by other healthcare professionals. That really made me quite sad as I thought of even sending it for international competition. The fact that it could not even win at a "higher" level competition means it is bad and don't even hope to win at international levels.

Still about work, with people quitting etc, I end up becoming the second most senior at my branch o_0 December was crazy and the craziness still spilled over to now. I hate all the extra responsibility without the extra pay. Anyway in late November, a new colleague joined and by title, she is more senior than I. After 2 months, she is now able to take the senior's responsibilities so at least I feel less stressful. That's all for work :) Oh shit.. wait.. I almost forgot about my first dispensing error! Fuck shit, man! It really made me down for almost a month about it :'(

2013 was special to me because I had my first trip to Europe. I am not going to repeat about what happened or why I enjoyed -or did not enjoy- it as it will take too long. Haha.. Anyway, it was really an eye opener to me. It made me realise that I kinda enjoy travelling. Unfortunately, I am friend-less that I am unable to have great overseas trips with friends. Sigh..

If you notice, I have so many posts on toys for 2013 which only mean 1 thing: I am getting more and more spendthrift. I spent close to $9000 in 2013 just for these things. Sigh.. To be honest, with that amount of spending, I am still quite surprised to see my bank statement at the end of 2013 as compared to 2012. My savings are also actually a lot.. Haha.. But if I don't spend so much on toys, I will end up with even more money. Honestly, I think my hobby is getting out of control as I am running out of storage space in both Jakarta and Singapore! Sigh.. But ultimately, I always argue that there is no point working so hard for money and not to enjoy them, or worse to enjoy them on food which makes me fatter! Of course buying things only solves one thing but create another problem of the storage space. Bleah X_X

I admit that I was being a bit hypocritical in the previous paragraph as in reality, my spending for food also went up. Jeez.. So does my weight that I ended up hitting 65kg. I am officially overweight now. At my lowest times, I could be having fast food, bubble tea, potato chips, Starbucks (high in sugar! lol), etc for every other day. Pimple breakouts and broken weighing scale are what makes me realise that I better stop all these nonsense in 2014!

Year 2013 was also a disaster for my spirituality. My frequency of going to church dropped to every other week, or even worse, once a month. No idea why I don't feel anything or getting anything out of attending mass anymore. Is it because working life so boring? Is it because I have money that I feel I no longer need God? Money is the root of all evil after all. Ironically, at home, I will still try to pray a bit and still regularly read daily reflections etc. No idea what's going on with me seriously.

Family-life was also quite bad in 2013. As they are growing older, my parents got into verbal arguments more often. As they are growing older, my sisters are getting more childish and disrespectful towards my parents too. Since most of the time I am not with them, I don't want to be bothered since they also can't be bothered about me anyway.

Sigh.. now that I am coming to an end of the post, I realise that 2013 was rather depressing for me. My wish for 2014? Of course to be better than 2014. I am trying very hard, with success noted so far, with regards to cutting down on the junk food. I think work and spending on toys will just get worse in 2014. Not to mention that I have to move rental place again this year and no holiday is planned for this year. Okay, outlook for 2014 is basically worse than 2013. Perhaps it is time to return to God to ask for His direction in this life.

Oh and 1 last thing about 2013: how can I forget about the HAZE!!! Lol..

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