Seasonal emo attack comes back. Again, I feel tired.. I feel empty.. I feel that my life is meaningless. Even the thoughts of "What should I eat today?" make me very agitated. The good food is unhealthy and the healthy food tastes like shit. Not to mention the thoughts of getting fatter..

My sleep and rest are terribly messed up. It just feels too tiring after work everyday. Sometimes I feel so sleepy that I have to nap first even before taking shower and brushish teeth. My brain tells me: take a shower, brush teeth, and sleep until morning. But my body refuses to do so. My planned 1 hour nap never lasts for 1 hour and I would usually wake up at 1230 or even later. After done showering and brushing teeth, it would be almost 2am already. Wake up at 6+ am the next morning and obviously the lethargy remains. Rinse and repeat.

To add on to my agony, my aircon breaks down. It is no longer as cold as it used to be =x It is still cooling but arrgh.. it still adds on to all the negativity. I am extremely sensitive to the stupid baby's cries too.. Zz I really feel like slapping or pinching him as a revenge. Let him cry even louder. Let him cry until he die.. I am awaiting for an opportunity when he is unattended.

As I am feeling down, I lose my rational thinking. Last week I decided to get Final Fantasy IX Play Arts Zidane and Garnet figures. Previously I told me self, FF IX sucks and I don't like the figures, my cupboard is full, and my luggage cannot fit so many boxes. Heck $140 flew away liao. Am I happy? Still not :(

My next desire is Final Fantasy VIII Scale 1:6 figures by Kotobukiya. They were released in 1999 and are extremely rare and expensive to find nowadays. Plus they are come with a series number so they sort of like limited editions. I got Laguna for $60 from Anime Festival last year. Good deal. It is impossible to get the rest at such price. Looks like at least $100 is required.

3 days ago, I found a good steal at eBay. Seifer's figure was offered with a US$29.99 starting price. Auction ended on Friday morning. I missed the deadline because I was discussing about project at work. Fuck!! Nobody bidded!! And the item was relisted. And today, someone bought it straight away for US$39.99. Haiz.. If you wonder why I did not straight away buy it even though I knew it would usually cost $100, the reason is that this one did not come with profile card (and the serial number). Oh well.. Gotta wait for better chance I supposed. Upon googling, I am spiralling into deeper emoness to find out that last year, 1 set of Laguna, Squall, Seifer, Quistis, and Selphie was sold for US$150 only. Bleah.. If only I knew about this and vPOST service 1 year earlier T_T