Thursday, March 26, 2009

Totally fucked up

I'm in total mess.. Everything turns out wrong.. and I don't know how to describe what I am feeling already.. Sadness, disappointment, anger, madness, all mixed together. And I really have nothing/nowhere/nobody to vent my feelings at..

The test today was a big fucked up. Whoever made the question, I curse you to have a fucked up life for the rest of your time on this earth. I was really exploding.. I really wanted to punch the bus window and bang my head at it.. Sigh... I threw my bag and it did nothing to alleviate my pain. I really don't know... Haiz... Studied very hard.. but all is useless.. Thanks to the fuckers who made the test. FUCK YOU!! Confirm fail... Shit.. I really am not interested in doing what I am learning. I wonder whether I have the choice not to do attachment. I don't need to be registered to be some dumb fucker expected to remember things that can be read off from medicine boxes .. Nor am I willing to remember things which patients don't even bother to know.. Haiz.. School system is a failure.. Sec sch and JC education kill the students in exam to help them for the final exams.. But what does university provide? Kill the students literally. Testing things which are useless in the future.. I am in wrong course... wrong school.. wrong country.. wrong life perhaps...

Tomorrow I have another test. I gave it up already.. I didn't bother to read the textbook. F and so be it.. Still can S/U.. Unlikely to get a U...

I played game.. Even game irritated me.. Could not beat the boss after trying 3 times.. Haiz.. I run out of stuff to lift up my spirit.. How then am I suppose to carry on living?

School sucks...
Entertainment sucks...
Life sucks...

Lab test is coming.. I will surely break the fucking microscope if I cannot do. Someone/something must really pay for the state I am already in right now..

I am losing self control. I want to shout and scream at people. Well, I did shout and curse loudly in supermarket today. Nobody knows me so who gives a damn..

No comments: