Thursday, October 23, 2008

Unexpected

My plans for this whole week are totally ruined. Firstly was my plan to apply visa on Monday. Before going, I withdrew money as I was short of cash, and paid my phone bill. I was so bloody damn shocked when I lost about $1.4k. Holy shit! I quickly went to have my bank book printed. And my worst dream came true. The money was gone for hostel stay. That means there was no increment for my allowance, even after my 2 e-mails. This is just plain dumb! $2000 for a semester and >$1400 is used up on for accomodation. Put in the vacation stay and that means I only had about $300 per semester. F%@*!! It's just plain dumb! That $300 is only enough to cover my meals for 1 single bloody month only. Damn it! Now I cannot go shopping as if it rains money every month. Gosh... Last time in secondary school and JC, I had $200 per month. I could shop without guilt. Now I can no longer do that! Everything I spend is my parents' money now. Sigh... There is really nothing to sustain me... To keep me going on... So yah... even I suffer from the economic recession.

It's less than a week to 28 October. Yes! It's a bloody celebration of my landing to this island 6 years ago. It is not a joyful occasion of course, although every year I will treat myself on this 'special' day. This year is the worst year so far. I never feel this regretful and angry for what has happened to my life. How the heck I can end up here? Life sucks, school sucks, social life sucks, now finance also sucks. What do I have here? I just sold the last 6 years of my life to the devil... And what do I get here? Nothing!! I am losing stuff.. My youthfulness, my cheerfulness, my future, my sense of direction of my life... Everything.

Before I ramble on and on about my cursed life, let's get back on track. Since my plan for visa application on Monday was cancelled, I decided to go this morning. Yeah it failed again. I slept too late last night. I had a group discussion on what to sing for chinese performance. I had no energy this morning. And it was not a bad thing of not going because there was a last minute work to be done regarding SP poster.

I spent the whole day mugging chinese (for the first time in this sem that I found the quiz was doable) although I decided to skip the lecture for extra sleep time. I guess that is the only good thing that happened to me so far this week. Everything else was failure. I failed to finish my UV lab report today. The lecture notes are confusing and I am confused. Sigh... I planned to finish that today so that tomorrow I can focus on my speech. Too bad.. I think I need to look for a book to read tomorrow. So I used the remaining time to type half (or a third?) of what I am going to say during oral which is on this friday. I am ill prepared. And I have no confidence. My english sucks and my presentation skills suck too. I have no problem spewing nonsense but this one I have to act formal and speak in a very good England. Sigh.. I just hope that I don't throw face. That will suffice.

At least that signals the end of SP agony. Yay yay yay!! Out of one hell, another hell is waiting next week. I have no idea how I am going to remember a chinese song in 3 days time -_-! And there is a CA next week T_T. Plus another bad news that next wednesday, pr2101 lab reports will be returned and there will be practical test in the following week. How great!! That will just ruin my days even more. I hate to see my results. It adds on stress and burden. I prefer just to see my grades (in December) and that's it! In addtion, I have a chinese oral in 2 weeks time. I have no idea what to bring for the show-and-tell. I have to write another essay to say and remember. Sigh... Life sucks.. It really sucks... Just when I think that my life cannot get worse, it keeps getting worse...

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